Uran Stands Firm on Iranium Enrichment

May 12, 2006

 

Yesterday, President Ahmadinejad of Uran stood firm against the pittance of a light-water reactor, dismissing it as a token piece of veiled correspondence.  In a fiery speech on a recently unusual home field in the Uranian Parliamentary Assembly, the President vowed passionately that the Unarian nation's right to enrich Iranium for peaceful power generation purposes shall not even by the mightiest ever be infringed.

 

Them bein' fightin' words, President George Dubya Bush, Prisondent of the Untied Tastes of Marecia, declared that any Constitutional Principle borrowed from the Marecian Constitution by outside agents for incorporation into their own Constitutions would constitute brand piracy and would be dealt with by extreme constitutional prejudice from the Department of Delta Force.

 

And that's where, they say, the trouble began.

 

A visibly agitated Dealer of the Reef Drowl declared pontifically that Uran, despite its vast Iranium resources was by decree deprived of developing them.  (laugh track).  Oprah declared this was intrinsically unfair and so the administration, chastened, gathered to assemble its  story.

 

Meanwhile the enemy titters over American entrails in the New Mesopotamia, and Canadians shudder in Afghanistan.

 

In a few short hours, Chavez will begin his curious tete a tete with Ghaddafy, one off the List, one on.

 

In the heartland, it's a distraction every time the phone rings, knowing you're both carrying on your life and enduring a little shake-down from Mister Black.  Welcome to the new frontier.

 

That buzz in the background?  That humming sound that might emerge from the hive of a zillion bees?  That thaing that permeates every concept of the future no matter how short term?

 

That's America!  And it's gonna getcha, blue eyes cryin' in the rain.

 

This is an editorial.  This is only an editorial.  Had this been an actual fact you would have been advised to withdraw to your nearest fact shelter to await further instructions.  We repeat.  This is only an editorial.

 

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